


For Sovngarde

by Ravxnclaw



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: A few lovey moments because I love him too much, Angst, Angst and Fluff, Canonical Character Death (mentioned), F/M, Skyrim Civil War, Sovngarde, Spoilers for main questline, Ulfric's voice, non-graphic mention of death, too much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 08:44:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8571871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravxnclaw/pseuds/Ravxnclaw
Summary: Because Ulfric gives me feelings no matter what side of the war I choose.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Necessary; I don't own anything involved nor do I intend to make any money, I don't claim ownership of anything - I just have a lot of feelings about Ulfric Stormcloak, the angst King

With every Shout, it felt as if he was next to me once more. I called to Odahviing, willing him to heed my Thu’um, and I swore that I could feel him Shouting alongside me. He may not have been born with the dragon blood but his Voice was strong, and it felt as if I missed it more and more with each day.  
The familiar flapping of wings created an unnatural breeze, pushing my hair away from my face and I allowed my mind to wander for a moment, imagining Ulfric’s hand in its place. His skin had always been relatively cool, yet it still retained the fading scars and hardened callouses that stood as proof of his sacrifices during both the Wars.  
“I hope you know what you’re doing.” Balgruuf’s harsh voice interrupted my thoughts, anger grating through me. I wanted to scream, to yell at him that of course I had a plan, I wasn’t about to summon a dragon without thinking about the next step, but I bit my tongue. I knew that the source of my quickened frustration with the Jarl stemmed from the openness of his distaste for Ulfric and that I allowed it to seep into every interaction I had with him. I ground my teeth together and merely nodded, focusing in on the rapidly approaching figure cutting through the thin veil of clouds.  
A mass of red scales landed in front of me and I let loose, calling him further into Dragonsreach. As the trap snapped shut I shrunk back against the cold stone wall, the energy from my body completely sapped from the use of Dragonrend. The Greybeards may have been tedious old men, but they were right about the use of such an angry Shout; I could practically feel the anger of those old Nords flowing freely in my veins.  
My body was heaving and weakened and although I knew that I needed to deal with my investigation into Alduin’s whereabouts, my brain was screaming at me to rest, conjuring up images of falling into bed and listening to him angrily muttering about his day. His voice would be even gruffer than usual, bordering on hoarse after his day of ordering others around and yelling when he thought someone was shying away from the battle. All I could think about was the way he’d continue grumbling even as he began to fell asleep, his nose buried into the top of my hair in the most relaxing way that I would give anything to have back.  
“Dragonborn.” Irileth’s voice pierced through my memories, dragging me back into reality. My breath was slowly reentering my wrecked body and I forced myself up, my exhausted mind somehow reasoning with Odahviing for him to stay in shackles only for a few hours while I got some much needed rest. If I had known that my Dragonborn status was going to unexpectedly turn my life upside down once again, I wouldn’t have spent the last four days running all over Skyrim doing jobs for Aela.  
Breezehome opened up before me and, upon realizing that I had no recollection of walking all the way from Dragonsreach, it felt as if the last three nights spent travelling instead of sleeping were finally catching up to me. My legs tingled dangerously and suddenly Lydia’s hands were fluttering about me, pulling the quiver of arrows from my back and the heavy sword from my side. My mild annoyance at her mothering way melted away when she looped an arm around me and practically dragged my weight toward my bed.  
“My Thane,” her soft voice invaded my clouded mind as she helped me out of my armor, “may I ask why you’re doing this to yourself?”  
“Doing what?” I didn’t have the capacity to be embarrassed by her seeing me in nothing but a thin tunic and my smallclothes.  
“You haven’t been home in weeks, you’re beyond exhausted, you clearly aren’t eating right-”  
“I eat.”  
“Healing potions don’t count.” She tossed my stinking armor toward the wash basin with the slightest wrinkle of her nose, her hands firmly on my shoulders as she forced me to meet her gaze. “What happened to you?”  
“I fell in love.” The words tumbled from my tongue without my permission, but I didn’t stop them. “I fell in love with a man and now he’s dead.”  
“What happened?”  
“He was-” for some reason, I stopped myself. There was no doubt that I could trust Lydia, she wasn’t going to tell anyone about Ulfric and I. But during our time together we hadn’t told a soul about what was happening between us, we were the only ones who really knew. Maybe keeping it secret was foolish, but revealing his identity would feel like I was betraying him all over again. “He was a Stormcloak, high up in the ranks, important to the rebellion. When we marched on Windhelm he was in the Palace of the Kings, and I had to-”  
Lydia’s warm arms embracing me saved me from the horrible guilt of admitting to what I really did to him. I had never said those painful, damning words aloud and I still wasn’t ready.  
_I killed Ulfric Stormcloak._  
“I’m so sorry you had to witness that, I can’t imagine having to watch as someone I love was killed.”  
Oh by the Divines, she didn’t know. She thought that I was a mere bystander, and oh how I wish I’d been allowed that one reprieve, that he hadn’t asked Tullius and myself for that one last favor. The way his eyes had pleaded with me, free of tears until our last hurried exchange, I wish it hadn’t been in real.  
_“I love you.”_  
_“I love you. I’ll wait for you. In Sovngarde.”_  
“He’s gone, and I don’t know what to do. He, he filled a void in me, one that I didn’t even know existed before he’d already filled it and I was stuck in love with him. He challenged me, he taught me, he made me feel so complete and safe, and now I’m just lost.”  
Flopping back onto the bed, it occurred to me that I’d been crying without knowing it. As I heard Lydia’s footsteps moving blessedly out of the room I was reduced to nothing more than a shaking mess of sobs and tears. My bed felt so wrong, too stiff compared to the bed in the Palace that had been softened by years of him throwing himself down in frustration. Breezehome even smelled wrong, lacking the stinging chill of Windhelm, of him.  
At some point I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew a tight hand was gripping my shoulder. The skin of my face felt too tight and in vain I wiped at it, feeling childish.  
“My Thane.” Lydia’s voice was firm and it brought me back from my dreamless slumber. I was relieved that my mind seemed to be functioning once again, finally clear enough for me to form a coherent thought. “You’re being asked for.”  
Sitting up in bed I took the pants Lydia was holding out to me, my cheeks reddening before I clumsily made my way downstairs. I expected Balgruuf to send Irileth or maybe Proventus after me, but all I found was a skittish looking courier. Without a word he practically tossed the letter before scurrying back out the door, not even pausing to take the septim from my outstretched hand.  
**Dragonborn - You had your rest, time to work.  
** **-Balgruuf, Jarl of Whiterun  
** The climb back to Dragonsreach was nothing compared to the idea of telling everyone to release the dragon we’d just captured hours before, but it had to be done. Odahviing was my only way of getting to Alduin and I had to trust him as he’d trusted in the strength of my Thu’um. I smiled to myself for a moment, as I could almost feel Ulfric’s jealousy as I clambered onto Odahviing’s back. He would’ve loved to see that.  
\--  
Sovngarde opened up before me, awash in unearthly shades of purple and blue. The trees reached up toward the heavens, even taller than those in Skyrim and acting as my only guide through the thick fog. I pressed a hand against my side, wishing that I could spare a healing potion for the gash the Draugr Deathlord had left me with but remembering to save everything for the final battle with Alduin. I couldn’t lose, and not even the constant stream of Ulfric-related memories could distract me from my ultimate goal.  
The mist finally relented some, leaving me standing before a grand overlook of the Hall. A figure stirred to my right and I instinctively grabbed the hilt of my blade, stopping short when a warm hand clapped down on my shoulder.  
“When I woke from cold death my doom was lifted; there was Shor’s Hall, my heart’s desire But now I wander, weary and lost.” Kind eyes met mine as he took a step closer, tears sprouting to my eyes at the sheer amazement of seeing him.  
“Kodlak.”  
“Alduin’s hunts me as we once hunted our prey - a bitter payment for many bloody deeds.”  
I nodded, knowing that I had to help him get to the Hall, the crown jewel of Sovngarde for Nords. I patted his hand one last time, refusing to say goodbye to him once again. It was so relieving that he finally made it to Sovngarde, that all of the work we did freeing his soul from Hircine’s grip had finally worked and that he hadn’t been stuck in the Hunting Ground as he’d feared. The rest of the Companions would be relieved to know that our hard work hadn’t been in vain.  
Continuing down my path I felt more souls stirring around me, just out of my field of view and I tried my best to ignore them. I cast my eyes down in order to keep track of the stony path that would take me the right way, the way to finally end Alduin’s reign. I kept my fingers tapping on the hilt of my sword, refusing to take my hands away from it again, tempted to unsheathe it and simply carry it in my hand despite the risk of getting a sore wrist. The shifting and moving of so many souls around me felt unnatural and when a finger brushed down my spine I swore my heart stopped.  
Every nerve in my body was focused on the ghostly feeling of a finger, somehow solid enough to touch despite the almost imaginary sensation of its touch as it moved away, disappearing into the mist once again.  
**“LOK VAH KOOR!”  
** With as much power as I could muster, I fought to push back against Alduin’s fog. It was too oppressive, too easy for some unknown predator to be hiding right beside me without me knowing until it was too late. I could already feel the thundering power of his Thu’um as he worked to undo my momentary clarity, but I needed to catch my breath, know which souls were surrounding me.  
“Please help.” A deep, unearthly voice rumbled through me and my steps faltered, shuffling to a stop. “We can’t get anything done in this fog.”  
No.  
I couldn’t turn around, couldn’t risk it. It wasn’t real. It had to be one of Alduin’s tricks, or maybe a trick played by the rulers of Sovngarde in order to test the mettle of those wishing to enter Shor’s Hall, not only a physical test but also a mental one to ensure that only the strongest made it in.  
“This trick isn’t going to work on me, Tsun.” I tried to push as much of my power into my voice as I could, trying to sound as if I trusted in my own conviction. “I know it’s not really him.”  
“You doubt me, my Dragon?”  
My heart melted and I could practically hear the hurt within the words. I didn’t care if it was really him or not, I forced myself to turn and face him. His blue eyes cut straight through me, their heavenly opacity only adding to their otherworldly nature. That damned smile spread across his face, the same gesture that had irreversibly charmed me for the first time so many years ago and I lost myself. My body reacted on its own as my brain no longer seemed to function at the sight of him. He was still wearing the same Stormcloak blue fine furs that I’d seen him in on that last horrible day, the same ones he’d been wearing when he took his final breaths.  
“Ulfric.” I breathed his name out, almost forming it as a question. I didn’t dare believe it fully, my heart was beating so fast I was surely going to die and end up in the Void soon but I didn’t care. He was standing in front of me and my feet shuffled forward, the blade dropping from my hand as I launched myself at him.  
I buried my face in his shoulder, allowing all of my weight to be held up by his strong arms. He felt so solid, so real, and I couldn’t fight it any more. He’d made it to Sovngarde despite all of the wrong he’d done and I was the one who was going to lead him to Shor’s Hall. There were tears and laughter spouting from me and I knew that I looked about as mad as that redheaded jester that I’d helped along the side of the road so many months ago but it didn’t bother me.  
I looked at him for a moment, silently relieved that the grievous wound I’d given him that had ultimately taken his life didn’t seem to have followed the rest of his body into the heavens. He was full and strong and wonderfully warm, feeling just as solid and alive as he had been on our first night together.  
His kiss was rough and a little too biting for my taste but I wasn’t about to complain. It was the first time I’d been kissed in the months since the civil war had reached its head and I’d begun my solitary life without him. His hand clasped my mouth to his and I clawed at his sides, his shoulders, anything that I could grab in order to keep him close to me for another second, trying everything to stop him from disappearing into the mist with the rest of the wandering souls.  
“I told you.” He muttered, his deep voice so welcoming that I choked on a laugh. “I told you that I’d wait for you.”  
“I’m not dead quite yet.” His look of shock surprised me and I leaned into him, easily falling back into the habit of touching him. “I’m here for Alduin.”  
“By the Gods, you’re still alive then?” I nodded, his eyes widening even further as his hands clasped my upper arms in an iron grip. “What are you doing here?”  
“I came for Alduin.” I explained briefly, leaning in to kiss him again but he held me back. His face was purely business, so different from the man I’d kissed seconds ago. “He’s growing more powerful by eating the souls of those wishing to enter Shor’s Hall, and I have the power to defeat him.”  
“How?”  
His whisper was lost as Alduin roared from above, his eyes acknowledging me but moving along. His arrogance was going to be his downfall once I was given the perfect chance but I had to wait, had to grind down the anger that was rising within me and the urge to Shout back at him just to spite him. Ulfric’s fingers bruising into my skin brought me back to my conversation with him, his eyes almost mad as they pleaded for answers.  
“The Elder Scroll.”  
His lips pressed against mine once again, hands finally loosening around my arms and holding me close. I could tell from his urgency that our time together was coming to a close and I clung to him, desperate for each second I had. I had so much to tell him, so many things that I wanted to share with him and tell him that I loved him until I was too hoarse to speak.  
“I love you.” The tears were flowing down my face again and my voice broke pathetically as he kissed my forehead firmly.  
“I love you.” His deep voice had barely uttered those words to me and a sob racked through me. I leaned into him, gripping his waist tightly despite the way I could feel him receding away from me, the mists once more devouring his soul.  
“Don’t leave me Ulfric.” I begged, grabbing his face in my hands and staring into his eyes. He smiled sadly, his thumbs brushing over my cheeks in a way that was so familiar that it was painful. I couldn’t believe that I’d ever lived without such a simple touch from him, or that in a matter of moments I was going to have to relearn living without him for the rest of my life.  
“You’ll defeat him, my Dragon.” He kissed me once more, his lips cool and barely a whisper of his usual heated embrace and it felt unmistakably like a farewell. “Hopefully we’ll meet in Shor’s Hall someday.”  
I was falling forward as the mist claimed him, his body no longer there to support me as I smacked against the ground. I howled and screamed in pain both physical and mental, every inch of my body aching from both the pain of falling and the sudden loneliness. I cried for my own loneliness and that of the man I loved, and I cried for all of the souls that were being stolen from their ultimate goal in order for the god of destruction to achieve his horrid goal. I cried for everyone back in Tamriel who was counting on me, but mostly I cried for the lonely girl who was going to have to fight Alduin, even though I couldn’t even handle losing the man who, during the civil war, had been my main enemy.

**Author's Note:**

> Might add to it to make a happier end but how does something involving Ulfric end on a happy note ??  
> Am I back? Am I just saying that again even though I'm lazy with writing? Am I ever going to finish the 10+ mostly written fics that just need a conclusion? Who knows.


End file.
